A parenting lesson from The Potato King

The Pediatric Insider

© 2015 Roy Benaroch, MD

It’s easier to get kids to do what they want to do rather than what you want them to do.

King Frederick the Great (1712-1786) of Prussia had a problem. He had plenty of cheap, nutritious potatoes—but no one wanted to eat them. They didn’t smell good, they grew in the ground, and even dogs turned up their noses. No one was even willing to try them. (Does this remind you of mealtimes at your house?)

So he planted a big field of potatoes near one of his castles. And he had his guards surround it, and march around, and make sure to keep everyone away.

Naturally, people became curious.

After a while, the King quietly ordered the guards to be a little less vigilant at night. And sure enough, a few brave souls snuck onto the field and stole some potatoes. After a while more people were stealing more potato plants, and soon enough everyone was planting potatoes. And eating them.

Sometimes the best trick to get kids to do what you want them to do is to get them to want to do it. I’m not even sure that’s a trick. But it’s good parenting.

As far as I know, the potato story is true. Or, at least, I want it to be.

The science of not eating vegetables

The Pediatric Insider

© 2014 Roy Benaroch, MD

It’s an epidemic. Many kids just won’t eat their vegetables. Eek!

Let me say up front that “not eating vegetables” really should be considered “One More Thing Parents Don’t Need to Worry About.” Yes, veggies are a good source of vitamins, and since they’re not calorie-dense they’re a great part of the diet for anyone who’s trying to maintain a healthy weight. But those vitamins are identical to the vitamins in fruit and inexpensive supplements. I have yet to meet any child who is genuinely unhealthy just because they didn’t eat their brussels sprouts. And I suspect just as many adults don’t eat veggies, either—and we don’t pick on them, and we don’t make them sit at their seats at the table watching their icky peas congeal. When faced with a child who doesn’t eat veggies, my inclination is to give the kid a break and worry about something else.

Besides, it turns out there’s some genuine science, here. Many kids who won’t eat vegetables may have a genetically-determined increased sense of taste, and they find vegetables too bitter to be enjoyable.

Researchers in Naples, Italy published a study titled “Taste perception and food choices,” looking at about 100 children, their parents, and unrelated control adults. They used genetic studies on saliva samples to look for variations in genes for the TASR38 bitter taste receptors, along with a standardized assay for bitterness taste sensitivity using 6-propyl-2-thiouracil. Kids and adults who were very sensitive to the bitter taste of that chemical were classified as “supertasters.” They also used food diaries to see what kids of foods the study subjects ordinarily consumed. There were several interesting conclusions:

• Childrens’ taste sensitivity was very different from both unrelated adults and from their own parents. Far more children than adults were “supertasters” who could easily taste even a tiny concentration of bitter chemical.
• Both children and adults who were supertasters tended to avoid eating vegetables, though the effect was stronger in children. Adult supertasters were more willing to eat veggies than child supertasters, perhaps because of habituation or social pressures, or just because they were willing to put up with bitterness—but they still didn’t eat as many veggies as the adults who were not supertasters.
• Supertaster status was associated with Body Mass Index in boys—in other words, boys who were supertasters tended to be more slender. None of the obese boys in the study was a supertaster.
• Supertasting children were less likely to be willing to try new foods, and the most taste-sensitive children tend to have the most restrictive diet with the least variety.

I like veggies—I grow a big garden every year, and I actually really like brussels sprouts (especially roasted.) I think eating veggies is a good idea for both adults and kids. But it’s certainly not a matter of life and death. If your children won’t eat veggies, it’s very possible that they are genetically built to be especially sensitive to bitter taste, and they just don’t like the flavor. In time, as they become adults, they may be more willing to try veggies—or maybe not. Either way, it’s probably not your fault, and it’s certainly nothing to worry about.

Dr Roy’s veggies

The picky eater guide: Part 4. The jobs of parents and kids

The Pediatric Insider

© 2012 Roy Benaroch, MD

There are things you can do, and things you can’t do. Among the fundamental things that parents cannot do are three things that drive us all crazy.

• You can’t make ‘em sleep
• You can’t make ‘em poop
• You can’t make ‘em eat

It’s just true. If you’re looking for a power struggle, go ahead and try to fight one of those three fights. I’ll wait here.

Back so soon? Don’t be discouraged. Remember: the point of parenting isn’t to win, and it isn’t to dominate, and it isn’t actually to make your child do The Right Thing. The point is to raise a child—to help him or her become an adult, capable of making decisions (hopefully the right ones!) To make a decision, it has to be possible to make the wrong decision. Children need to learn to make even the wrong decisions on their own.

This series of posts started with Melissa’s simple question about what to do with her picky eater. In this part, we’ll focus on what the parents’ and kid’s jobs are at mealtimes. Remember: our goal is to reinforce good habits that will help Junior continue to make good eating choices for the rest of his life. The parent’s job is to offer healthful foods in a appropriate manner, following these steps:

1. Parents set the menu.

Choose a handful of different food items for the meal. Once your child is old enough (usually around nine months of age), he or she should be able to eat most of what mom and dad eat (it’s messy, but fun!) If one or more of the items is in the category of “foods Junior usually likes”, that’s fine. For instance, if your child really likes yogurt, it’s perfectly fine to make yogurt part of most—or even every—meal. Just put it on the table. Don’t make any of the foods belong to any of the people at the table—there should be no “Junior food” or “Mommy food.” If Junior wants some of mom’s anchovies, or mom wants a few of Junior’s chicken nuggets, that’s fine. All food comes out of shared serving dishes.

2. Parents sit and eat with their children.

You can’t expect your child to learn table manners and good eating habits if he’s eating alone at the breakfast nook. Mealtimes are together times.

3. Parents turn off the TV and talk with children during mealtimes.

Don’t talk about the food, unless it is to thank the preparer. Talk about other things.

4. Parents set a good example.

Put a variety of things on your plate, eat slowly, and drink water with your meals. Use a fork. Smile and enjoy yourself. Do the things you want your child to do—but remember, you’re teaching by example. Don’t nag your kids during meals.

Kids have it a little easier. They have only three jobs:

1. Children decide which food items to eat, and how much of which to eat.

As long as it’s on the table at the start of the meal, kids can choose to eat it: a lot of it, a little of it, or none of it. What children should not expect is to get things that are not on the table. Parents choose the items in the meal, then kids decide which of those and how much to eat.

2. When old enough, kids should help with the prep and clean up.

This can include shopping for foods, picking out menus, cooking, clearing the table,  cleaning the dishes, everything. Get them to help in the vegetable garden and take scraps out to the compost pile. It’s all work for the family to do.

3. Kids should say “thanks” afterwards. A kiss for the cook is nice, but not required.

There are other benefits to the “family meal.” In addition to reinforcing good meal habits, preventing obesity, and encouraging a variety of foods, family meals help kids be more successful in school and help prevent drug use and family violence. Don’t turn meals into a struggle over whether your child is getting enough rhubarb. Enjoy your meals together by not focusing on just how much is being eaten. You’ll have a better time—and you’ll end up with a healthier-eating child, too.

Next: tying up a few loose ends. And muffins!

 

The picky eater guide: The whole enchilada:

Part 1. What’s the problem?

Part 2. The “Don’ts”

Part 3. The Rule

Part 4. The jobs of parents and kids

Part 5. Special circumstances, vitamins, and a muffin bonus

The picky eater guide: Part 1. What’s the problem?

The Pediatric Insider

© 2012 Roy Benaroch, MD

Melissa, and many other parents, want to know what to do with kids who don’t eat what we want them to eat: “I was wondering your thoughts on ‘picky eaters’? I spend all day questioning whether I’m doing the right thing for my child (he’s almost 17 months). I’ve heard not to push them to eat because they will eat when they’re hungry. I’ve heard to make them sit there until they eat what you want them to. I’ve heard don’t offer them alternatives to what you’ve prepared. I’m really just confused and so flustered at meal times!”

Some perspective: for thousands of years, there was no such thing as a picky eater. When food is scarce, people ate what they could, and ate when they could. In fact, vestiges of that kind of primal urge to eat still lurk in our cravings for high fat at high sugar foods. We’re programmed to really want food of high energy density—that is, the stuff that gets us the most bang for our chewing buck. When faced with a meal of chewing some kind of celery precursor for 20 minutes, versus chowing down on fire-roasted meat, guess which one gets you more food energy for the effort?

The idea that we ought to eat a variety of things every day is also a relatively new concept. Until a few hundred years ago, people ate what they could grow or kill in their own backyards. Since then, food storage (yay refrigerators!) and food transport (yay roads!) has made it possible for us to have oranges from Chile in June.

In the developed world, we are swimming in food. Thousands of choices, easy availability, and it’s cheaper than ever. The good news: nutrition has never been better. The bad news: nutrition has never been worse.

The “better” aspect of nutrition in the developed world: we’ve got plenty of food, and people are getting plenty of calories. Those with economic disadvantages get free meals in schools and food stamps, and the cheapness of prepared foods makes it possible for just about everyone to afford to eat something. Also, vitamin deficiencies are pretty much a thing of the past. With a few exceptions, our food is so fortified with vitamins and minerals that it’s difficult to find people who aren’t getting the micronutrients they need.

But there’s bad news, too. The over-availability of food has led to a new health problem. About 1 in 3 school age children are overweight, and most of these kids will become overweight adults. Obesity contributes to diabetes and hypertension, and in many cases to short and unhappy lives.

In other words: the problem isn’t that Junior doesn’t eat enough vegetables or enough quinoa. The problem is that Junior is developing lifetime habits that are causing him to eat too much of everything else.

Next time, we’ll talk about those life habits, and how some misguided efforts to “fix” picky eating might make it more likely that obesity will become a problem.

For more perspective on how people used to eat, read Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder (featuring the “Pig Bladder” scene!) For a comprehensive and fascinating account of the history of human nutrition, try Terrors of the Table by Walter Gratzer.

 

The picky eater guide: The whole enchilada:

Part 1. What’s the problem?

Part 2. The “Don’ts”

Part 3. The Rule

Part 4. The jobs of parents and kids

Part 5. Special circumstances, vitamins, and a muffin bonus