America’s Bestest Doctors!

The Pediatric Insider

© 2010 Roy Benaroch, MD

Well, lookee here! My years of sweat and toil and looking for monkeys in ears have finally paid off—so long, suckers, it’s time for Dr. Roy to head to the big time! That’s right: I’ve received a “Parent’s Choice Award”, complete with a plaque for only $159, including free shipping! Now, where did I put my cummerbund?

What’s that? You sound dubious. You mean just about any doctor can get one of these plaques, as long as we’re willing to spend the beans? Say it ain’t so!

There’s a whole industry out there, making lists of “top” professionals and mailing out fancy plaques and reprints of their “reports.” For a price. It’s not just pediatricians, either. Financial planners, surgeons, attorneys—heck, you can even buy an book that lists the “top graduates”, and just happens to have YOUR child’s name in it. Have a gifted puppy? Maybe he’d like a plaque, too!

Here’s another angle: sometimes local magazines make lists of local “top” whatevers—but you can bet you won’t make the “top” if you don’t buy an ad in the magazine, fortuitously situated right next to the list with your name. What a coincidence.

There are some genuine rankings out there for household products, or graduate schools, or plumbing supply companies. But be very wary of companies who “sell” their rankings, or the fancy plaques and trophies that they inspire. And don’t be fooled by these sorts of knick-knacks in the doctor’s office. Good doctors will rarely be identified by a $159 plaque.

Instead, look for the cummerbund.

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3 Comments on “America’s Bestest Doctors!”

  1. Dr. Roy Says:

    They cut the price! I received a new fax offer for the plaque for $139 + $12.90 S&H. I’m going to hold out longer …


  2. Jodi Says:

    So you mean our daughter wasn’t really one of the Top Executives several years ago when she was six? I am so disillusioned.


  3. Dr. Roy Says:

    If it was your daughter, Jodi, it was probably a sincere award.


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