Nation’s children discover: The Rules don’t apply to adults

The Pediatric Insider

© 2011 Roy Benaroch, MD

Dateline Washington, DC – Children investigating the mysterious disappearance of money from their piggy banks have discovered a shocking truth: The Rules don’t apply to adults.

“This is really something,” reported Alex Grobaur. “We started out asking ‘Where did our money go?’ And soon, it turned out it’s all crazy. It’s like, The Rules we keep hearing about? Adults don’t pay any attention to them.”

Children first began noticing IOUs replacing their money several months ago—though the process of spending their as-yet-not-paid taxes had begun years before. Adults, it was revealed, have been spending their children’s tax dollars for years. There are vague promises to return the money at some future date.

“So Dad always says, ‘No, you can’t have that, because you already spent your allowance.’ What a crock,” said Pavarti Patil, 12.

Her sister, Pajma, 10, agreed, but reminded Pavarti that she’s not supposed to use the word “crock.”

“Screw that,” replied Pavarti. “I don’t think The Rules really matter anyway.”

“There was this one time,” Pajma reminded her, “that Dad completely cut off that other guy in that big car in front of the school. Remember that? He always says, ‘Wait your turn.’ Is that a crock, too?”

Several other examples were cited of purported “Rules” that don’t seem to apply to adults.

Cyndi Goldman, 9, said “I know we’re not supposed to be let off across the street from school—they’re supposed to drive around, so we get off on the right side and don’t have to run across the street. But mom always just says, ‘Go!’ when we get near the school. She’s always late, or something, and she makes me run across the street. Is that even allowed?”

Cory Daniels, 8, agreed, and brought up his father’s cell phone use. “These signs say, ‘Don’t text and drive.’ And my dad is always texting in the car. It’s not like I can’t read street signs.”

“Adults never shut up,” added Beth, 14, who requested that we only use her first name. “It’s always, ‘Don’t interrupt,’ and ‘Wait your turn to speak,’ but they are always talking. What is their problem? You’re trying to tell them, you know, something important, and they’re all ‘Blah blah work taxes coffee’ or something. They expect us to listen, but do they listen to us?”

None of the nation’s 250 million adults could be reached for comment.

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4 Comments on “Nation’s children discover: The Rules don’t apply to adults”

  1. aglol Says:

    This is so funny Dr. Roy. I love it. Do you need to pay royalties for lifting character names from Harry Potter? Or are you comfortable breaking that potential law? 😉

    Like

  2. Dr. Roy Says:

    Oops. I think that was subconscious at first….then Oldest pointed it out, and I meant to change the names….anyway, thanks for noticing. Names now changed to protect the innocent. All characters are fictional, and any resemblance to other fictional characters is purely coincidental.

    Like


  3. Love this, well said! Last night I ate my daughter’s ice-cream that she was saving :(. If she’d done something similar I would have probably given her a talk about respect for other people stuff or something equally condescending.

    Like

  4. aglol Says:

    I did the exact same thing, and she will never forgive me. The same is for from the time I sold her Elmo (one of 4) at a garage sale. She may engrave it on my tombstone. 😉

    Like


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